Bertie’s Brochures
Released in 1991 by Kitchenware Records
Transpose
INTRO
Bb
Ebmaj7
August the 20th
Bb
Yes,
Ebmaj7
folks, it’s another clammy, warm night in
Bb
England
Ebmaj7
A large crowd has gathered a
Bb
round the police station
Ebmaj7
Everybody –
Bb
everybody –
Ebmaj7
wishes to have contact with a certain little Irish
Bb
writer
Ebmaj7
within
Bb
Not to discuss his works, though the works
Ebmaj7
are known to them
They’ve been published in the
Bb
tabloid papers by the po
Ebmaj7
lice
Under the heading “
Bb
Barbaric
Ebmaj7
Butcher’s
Brochures”
Bb
No, they want to tear his very
Ebmaj7
head from his body
Bb
For what it is alleged he
Ebmaj7
did in the way of mortal
Bb
damage
To two soldiers
Ebmaj7
in a nearby public
Bb
lavatory
Ebmaj7
Night draws
Bb
in
No
Ebmaj7
body would say a word about
Bb
him except a
Eb
fool like me
F
VERSE 1
In
Gm
rainy Ireland in the
A7
fifties
There outside a
Dm
pink farmhouse
Am
door
A
Gm
small Bertie playing at digging
A7
trenches
Asks, “Daddy, what’s the
Dm
blowtorch
for?”
He said, “The
Dm
torch will cut the
F
cars to turn them into
C
sculpture
So I can
Gm
express what I
Dm
feel
The
Dm
college men may
F
laugh, the farmers perse
C
cute
me
But I
G
do for my
Eb
self (So should
Ebadd9/F
you)”
CHORUS 1
Bb
Come look at
Ebmaj7
Bertie’s
bro
F
chures
Bb
You’ll be en
Ebmaj7
chanted, I’m
F
sure
The
Bb
whole world’s in
Ebmaj7
Bertie’s
bro
F
chures
All the
Ebmaj7
wisdom, all the
C9
smiles of dear
F
friends
Bb/D
F7/D#
VERSE 2
Through
Gm
freakshow Britain, through the
A7
eighties
Bertie works in
Dm
labs, though his father’s aims still en
Am
dure
Though
Gm
only at night does he do his
A7
real
work
Learning, writing
Dm
his
brochures
Dm
For he still be
F
lieves that everyone’s a
C
poet
And that all he has to
Gm
do is to set it
Dm
down
And
Dm
so transform the
F
milkman, the waitress and the
C
gunman
Into
G
immortal
Ebadd9/F
art
CHORUS 2
Now they’re
Bb
laughing at
Ebmaj7
Bertie’s
bro
F
chures
De
Bb
tectives with
Ebmaj7
crowbars and
F
skewers
They
Bb
see things in
Ebmaj7
Bertie’s
bro
F
chures
Their own
Ebmaj7
hatred of all other
C9
races and their
F
fear
Bb/D
F7/D#
CHORUS 3/OUTRO
Bb
Don’t laugh at
Ebmaj7
Bertie’s
bro
F
chure
Bb
He would not
Ebmaj7
if they were
F
yours
So
Bb
what if your
Ebmaj7
enemy is
F
there?
Bb
Bertie’s an
Ebmaj7
artist, so
F
why should he
Bb
ca
Ebmaj7
Bb
re?
Ebmaj7
Should he
Bb
car
Ebmaj7
Bb
e?
Ebmaj7
It’s the
Bb
north
Euro
Ebmaj7
pean
Bb
peasant
ex
Ebmaj7
peri
Bb
ence
Ebmaj7
Bb
Ebmaj7
Bb